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Team Histories

Cleveland Steamers

****I.B.P. League Original Member****

Owned by Joel, without question one of, if not the worst team in the league at the beginning, garnering only 11 wins in the first three seasons (1, 3, and 7 respectively).  Fortunes have changed since then, and in 2006, the team finished with an 11-4 record which included a 104 point victory in the Superbowl against the F’n Retards.  That would be the beginning of a run of many division titles, and one of 3 Superbowl match-ups between the two teams, and the Steamers would lose the second two in 2008, and 2012 by 4 and 3 points respectively.

In 2013 the team returned to it’s old ways (after losing the 2012 Superbowl) starting off the first 9 games 1-8.  Fortunes did improve however, as they finished the season 7-9 and won their second Toilet Bowl Trophy.

In the overall history of the league, the Cleveland Steamers are ranked 5th overall with a record of 92-81-3.

 


 

Cock & Balls (Formerly Y-Eaters/Bill, and Y-Eaters/Eric)

Even though Travis’s team did capture the team’s first title in 2013, the team hasn’t always had such good fortune. The Y-Eaters currently have the 1st and 3rd lowest scoring seasons in the league’s history, (1012 and 1045), the lowest avg. game score for a season (72.29), the 3rd worst winning percentage in a season (.179), and the least points ever scored in a game at 31. In fact, if you look, you can find the Y-Eaters name on almost all of the bad records in the history of our league, the only good one being in 2009 when they had 5 high score weeks. Now, most of that took place before Travis took over, and even though he had a bit of a rough start, since picking up Peyton Manning, he has managed to lead the team to a 23-8 record over the last 2 seasons. Along with his title in 2013, in 2012 he lead his team to a 11-2 season and a first round bye, but was excused from the playoffs with extreme prejudice after a 179-83 shellacking at the hands of eventual champ F’n Retards.

In the overall history of the league, Cock & Balls are ranked 6th overall with a record of 85-88-3.

 


 

Detroit Dawgs

****I.B.P. League Original Member****

People often say, “I miss the old days of fantasy football when all you had to do was draft LT, and you’d win championships”.  Well in this league,  that team was the Dawgs, owned from the beginning by Dave.  Unfortunately, though he had LT as his franchise player through 2008, he never managed to turn that situation into a championship, or even a trip to the Superbowl.  In 2011, The Dawgs did win the South Division, and made it all the way to the Superbowl, but they were soundly defeated by Prez’s Pigs 137-98.

Fun Fact: Owner of the Dawgs Dave was once a rabid Andre Agassi fan, and even had a mullet.

In the overall history of the league, the are ranked 10th overall with a record of 77-97-4.

 


 

Eff Fairfield Cab (Formerly Jr’s Raiders)

Originally owned by Josh, the highlights for the Raiders (much like the real Raiders) are few and far between. In 2005, they managed to win a very tight West Division, and secure a 1st round bye in the playoffs, but was defeated by Prez’s Pigs in round 2, and ended up finishing 4th. In 2010, they went 8-5 in the regular season, good enough to win the East Division, but again round 2 would be their demise, this time losing to Team Dan. Other than that, the Raiders have only managed 3 winning seasons, holds the record for the 2nd lowest single game score of all time (34), and has averaged less than 7 wins per season.

Following the 2013 season, Josh resigned his team, and as of 2014 was taken over by original league founder Jade.

Fun Fact: I’m not going to type the fun fact, you all know what the fun fact is.

In the overall history of the league, the Eff Fairfield Cabs are ranked 12th overall with a record of 68-102-1.

 


 

Frehleys Comets (Formerly Bronx Bombers & Team Buttercup)

Owned by Aaron, this team has had 3 different owners, and was the original franchise of the original founder of the league, Jade Fischer.  While serving as owner, Jade did take the team to the 2004 Superbowl, but was defeated by Jenni’s Boys en route to her 2nd championship.  In 2008, Jade surrendered the team when he moved to New York, and it became the Bronx Bombers.  While under the ownership of the Bombers, the team managed a below average 25-31-1 record.  Since taking over, The Comets have only managed to put together a 15-14 record over 2 seasons, but the first season, 8-7 was good enough for a division win, and a trip to the Semi-Finals where they lost a squeaker to the Steamers 134-130, after putting up 179 points in the first playoff game.

Fun Fact: Frehley’s Comet was a rock band formed and led by ex-KISS lead guitarist Ace Frehley. The group released two studio albums and one live EP before Frehley left the band to release his 1989 solo album, Trouble Walkin’. (Plagiarized from Wikipedia)

In the overall history of the league, the Frehleys Comets are ranked 8th overall with a record of 82-90-2.

 


 

F**king Retards

****I.B.P. League Original Member****

If you asked everyone in the league “Which team has been to 4 Superbowls, won 2 Championships, and is tied for 3rd for most wins ever in the league?”, I doubt anyone, even Andy, would guess the F**king Retards, but they would all be wrong.  The Retards, after a slow start, have since become one of the most successful teams in the league’s history.

Andy, the owner, was one of the original Board Members of the International Brotherhood Of The Pig, and was the founder and operator of the MASSIVE IBPig.com which was stacked full of message boards, games, and porn.

In the overall history of the league, the F**king Retards are ranked 3rd overall with a record of 95-81-3.

 


 

Lola’s Guy’s (Formerly Ben’s Crotch Waffles & High Chokers)

One of the most legendary teams in the league, the High Chokers joined the league in 2003. To this day, 10 years later, it is still the only franchise to ever get 13 wins in a season. After dominating the 2003 regular season and finishing with a record of 12-2, the Chokers were bounced out of the playoffs by eventual champion Jenni’s Boys 126-112 (a loss Chris never quite got over). They did go on to win the 3rd place game over the Detroit Dawgs 144-126. They finished the 2004 season with a respectable 8-6 record, but being in a tough division, they only finished 3rd, and failed to return to the playoffs. Sadly, on April 14th 2004, we lost Chris at the way too young age of 27. Though he was only a part of this league a short time, that 13 win season, and his memory will live forever.

The following season, Josh’s little brother Ben took over the team, but after a uneventful 4-9 season, he resigned and handed the team over to Lola.

While off to a fast start, finishing with the 3rd best record in the league (11-4) in only their second season, they would then go on to only win a total of 7 games in 2009-10. But in 2011 they would start a run of 28 wins in 3 season culminating in the franchise’s first ever trip to the a Superbowl in 2013, where they were soundly defeated by Cock & Balls 141-107

Fun Fact: If on draft night you hear the phrase “that team could be the Choker team of the year”, while it doesn’t sound like it, it’s actually a compliment. It’s a reference to the legendary 13 win season of the High Chokers.

In the overall history of the league, Lola’s Guy’s are ranked 7th overall with a record of 84-75-1.

 


 

Prez’s Pigs

****I.B.P. League Original Member****

Owned by long time Commissioner Greg, the Pigs have made it to 3 Superbowls, won 2 of them, and have the best overall record in the league, thus making them a serious contender for the best team in the league. The Pigs have had 4 seasons where they had a record of 11-4, and they were the first team in the league to reach 100 wins.

Greg, the team owner, is also the founder and one and only President of the real life International Brotherhood Of The Pig, the namesake of our league.  Many of the original members of this league, were original Board members of The Brotherhood.

In the overall history of the league, the Prez’s Pigs are ranked 1st with a record of 105-72-2.

 


 

RoadKill Kid

****I.B.P. League Original Member****

This team is owned by one of our most experienced fantasy football players.  Jim has actually been running his own fantasy football leagues since 1872, back when leagues were still segregated.  Though they have made the playoffs in this league most years, they have only made 1 trip to the Superbowl back in 2004, where they destroyed Prez’s Pigs 114-71 for the Roadkill Kid’s only championship.

In the overall history of the league, the Roadkill Kid is ranked 4th with a record of 95-83-1.

 


 

Team Delton (Formerly Team Dan & SOB’s)

The SOB’s (which stood for South Omaha Boys) was originally owned by Ricky, but due to his lack of internet service at home, he surrendered his team and it was taken over by Dan. The one thing Dan was great at was drafting teams that looked great on paper but didn’t perform up to their potential. In Team Dan’s first season (2005) they made it to the playoffs, only to be crushed in the first round by the Road Kill Kid 131-86. This would actually begin a streak of 3 trips to the playoffs that resulted in first round losses.

In 2010 Team Dan would return to the playoffs, this time making it all the way to the Superbowl, where they met their demise at the hands of the Uranus Packers 141-119. In 2011 and 2012, they retured to their old ways making the playoffs only to lose in the first round. Finally after a 2013 loss in the toilet bowl to the Cleveland Steamers, Dan would retire as team owner. In 2014, Delton took over as owner.

In the overall history of the league, Team Delton is ranked 9th with a record of 80-91-1.


 

Team T&A (Formerly Jenni’s Boys)

After being one of what would eventually be 2 teams to finish a season with 0 wins, the original Jenni’s boys would go on to shock the world by winning back to back titles in the 2003 and 2004.  After a divorce, and a one horribly uncomfortable draft night in 2007. Keith (and his wife) took over the team, and even though he once drafted a kicker in the 8th round, he is still running the team.  Though he’s only won 32 games in the 6 seasons since he took over, things are definitely on the uptick for Keith as he won the South division in 2013 and made it to the team’s first playoffs since the back to back championship years of Jenni’s Boys.

On a side note, not only did Keith pickup a kicker in the 8th round, he went on to draft 2 kickers that year because he said he , and i quote, “needed a backup kicker”.  But after a full year of proper shaming, he has since only drafted 1 kicker per year and usually in the last 2 rounds.

In the overall history of the league, Team T&A is  ranked 11th with a record of 72-102-1.


 

Uranus Packers

****I.B.P. League Original Member****

After winning the title the first season, this team owned by Nate has gone on to be arguably one of the best teams in the league having been to 4 Superbowls, and being the only team with 3 championships.  The good years have been good, and the bad years have been bad, but when The Packers have a good year, they take full advantage of it, thus the fact that they have been to almost 1/3 of the Superbowls played.

The Packers were part of one of the biggest controversies to ever take place in our league, when in 2005, they missed the playoffs by just 1 point after a long and “spirited” debate took place over the difference between a “fumble and a muff”.

In the overall history of the league, the Uranus Packers are ranked 2nd with a record of 96-76-3.

1 Comment

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  1. Very Nice! The team histories are very entertaining. If you have any remaining gaps in team and or league history maybe a few of us can reconstruct some history over beers. Ben Franklin liked beer, and he was a founding father of this country….I just as well like beer too.

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